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Morbidly Obese Albert / Transcript
Morbidly Obese Albert: (voice-over) Hey, hey, hey! It's Morbidly Obese Albert! (Morbidly Obese Albert holding the board) (audience laughing) (Mushmouth playing a guitar) Singer: We're gonna do a song or two (audience laughing) (Dumb Donald blowing a trumpet) Singer: '''Then Bill's gonna lecture you (audience laughing) (Bill plays silver drums) '''Singer: About something stupid you already know (Russell plays can drums) (Old Weird Harold playing a bed string harp) Singer: The animation's crappy! Morbidly Obese Albert: Hey, hey, hey! That's our show. (audience laughing) The Junkyard Gang: Hey, hey, hey, gonna have a good time! (Fade-out to live-action sequence. Bill Cosby shoots a basketball into the hoop, and bunks the homeless man underneath. and gets off the ground and Bill turns to the audience.) (audience laughing) Bill Cosby: Hello! It is so good to see ya. This week Morbidly Obese Albert and the gang learn a hard lesson. Now let's watch the animation part right after I stop the talking part which isn't yet because I'm still get down with get down and jive... (makes silly sounds) (audience laughing) Bill Cosby: Here you go. Finished! (cut to animation) (audience laughing) Russell Cosby: I'm hungry. Mushmouth: Me-ba too-ba. (audience laughing) Morbidly Obese Albert: I'm always hungry! Hey, hey, hey! (audience laughing) Old Weird Harold: Hey, it's the first of the month! Food Stamp Tuesday down at Clown Burger! (audience laughing) Morbidly Obese Albert: Let's go gang, my treat! Hey, hey, hey! (audience laughing) The Junkyard Gang: (cheering) Yay for Morbidly Obese Albert! (Morbidly Obese Albert and the gang run up to Clown Burger. Notice Albert's man boobs and tummy bouncing.) (audience laughing) (We see Clown Burger, a small, run-down, shady restaurant in the middle of the junkyard. The bottom of the sign reads "Over 20 million poor people served") (Morbidly Obese Albert eats way too many burgers) (audience laughing) Morbidly Obese Albert: Ugh... Ugh... I don't feel so... good... Hey hey... Ugh! (Morbidly Obese Albert falls off the seat, suffering a heart attack) (Clown Burger shakes like an earthquake, bouncing off the ground and landing hard.) (audience laughing) Bill Cosby: Albert's got a serious problem. He's disgustingly fat and he just had himself a major heart attack. Plus his arteries are clogged more than Aretha Franklin's... toilet! (audience laughing) Bill Cosby: Look like he wasn't gonna pull through but he finally made it. The gang is bringing him home from the hospital today! (audience laughing) Russell Cosby: Hey, Albert. How come we gotta pull you... in this wagon? Morbidly Obese Albert: That's 'cause the doctor cut off my feet. Hey, hey, hey! (audience laughing) Mushmouth: Aba raba, haba burba haba de dibabebes. Old Weird Harold: What?! Mushmouth: I said he has diabetes! (audience laughing) Russell Cosby: Well, at least you lost weight! Ah ha ha ha ha ha... (imitating laughing sounds) (audience laughing) Morbidly Obese Albert: Let's go celebrate my heart attack at Clown Burger! Hey, hey, hey! (audience laughing) The Junkyard Gang: (cheering) Yay for Morbidly Obese Albert! (cut to live-action sequence with Bill Cosby) Bill Cosby: Awwww!! (audience laughing) Bill Cosby: Well there you have it folks, some jive turkeys never ever learn. (Bill throws basketball to the right side of the screen) (Basketball lands on a grave saying "RIP Morbidly Obese Albert") Morbidly Obese Albert: (buried six feet under) Hey, hey, hey! (audience laughing) The Junkyard Gang: Hey, hey, hey, going to a funeral! Category:Transcript